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The best unreliable facts about animals

Bill of rights | Badger
Groundbreaking scientist Prof Mark Potts of the UEA has come up with his latest evolutionary theory. Prof Potts explains 'The Duck Billed Platypus is indeed a duck that got really cold and grew a fur coat'. When asked what happened to its wings Potts replied 'They didn't want to look as stupid as Penguins'.

LLanffwrggillio hoot hoot | Pat Agonia
Scientists have finally identified the language spoken by whales. It is Whelsh.

Mans best friend | FOF
Tapeworms make ideal pets. They eat what you eat, go where you go, do not need exercise, do not incur hefty vets bills and never shit on the carpet. They are also free.

For Four Fur Coats | Hans Freikit
Cats believe that there is only one way to skin a human.

Deep understanding | Dr Morbius
Red-faced scientists had to admit yesterday that the “music” and “singing” of whales and dolphins that has received so much publicity is actually flatulence caused by overindulgence in shrimps and other rich foods.

Dizzy | Deborah Lewarne
Dolphins sleep with one eye open whilst swimming in a circle to look out for predators. To prevent themselves getting dizzy or disorientated, they wake up halfway through the night and swim the other way with the other eye open.

Going down | FOF
It has been discovered that elephants can in fact swim, but only downwards and doing the back stroke. They cannot, however, fly.

Ferret Frenzy | Francis
Ferrets can be taught to dance, but only to songs by Kylie Minogue.

Lions | Pottsi
The female lion not only does all the hunting for the male lion and their family, she also does all the cleaning and shopping as well, in fact she is totally taken for granted and has had it up to here with it!

Hard to Swallow | Dr Beaker
The 'Adams Apple' of the average mature male giraffe travels 2.35 metres upwards each time it swallows.

 

These unreliable facts, and more, are © 2001 The Brains Trust. We hope that they do not mind we showcase a selection of them in return for promotion of their excellent site.

Remember, everything you hear on the internet is true   

 

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