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Humor! Humour!

 
Computer Haiku Error Messages
(exclusively for the new Japanese version of Windows)

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

I ate your Web page.
Forgive me. It was juicy
And tart on my tongue.

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
 
Error messages
cannot completely convey.
We now know shared loss.

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

I'm sorry, there's -- um --
insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the . . .  file, Hal
open the, please Hal

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen
Dies so beautifully.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located
But endless others exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent and reboot.
Order shall return.

Aborted effort.
Close all that you have.
You ask far too much.

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao until
You bring fresh toner.

Windows crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.


 

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